WHAT MATTERS MONDAYS – Dec.12, 2016

December 12th, 2016 by admin Leave a Comment

For the second time I am reading the book Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist and I think it’s even more powerful for me round two. Her words speak right to my heart!

 

She uses a term called fake resting….and it cracks me up! I totally know it! Fake resting is when you are wearing PJs, your kids are watching movies, your husband is reading a book and it looks like you are resting but you are not. You are ticking down your to do list either in writing or mentally, getting things tidied up, doing laundry, wiping counter tops….just doing it all. We fake rest instead of real rest and we end up real tired.

 

She says that part of being an adult is taking responsibility for resting your body and your soul. Meeting your own needs. No one else is going to do it for you!

 

And the bottom line is…constant activity keeps you from truly feeling. We can run circles around our house folding clothes, sweeping, tidying and never allowing ourselves to feel the cavernous ache.

 

The ache is: Am I loved? Does someone see me? Do I matter? Am I safe?

 

If I hustle fast enough, the emptiness will never catch up with me.

 

In my late teens to early 20’s, I outran the ache by drinking and partying. In my 30’s, I outran the ache by working too much and striving for goals I never really wanted. In my 40’s, I have learned a better way, but I have to consciously be aware every single day. Some days I rock it. Some days I am white knuckling it.

 

We can outrun the emptiness and ache in so many ways. Working out, binge watching shows, drinking, drugs, shopping, too much social media, dieting, being overly busy, cleaning….the list goes on.

 

Shauna says, “All of these things will make you less and less able to connect to the things that matter, like your own heart and the people you love. And, these things isolate you.”

 

This got me thinking. How am I avoiding my emptiness? My cavernous ache?

 

For me, my commitment right now is less social media. I notice when I am feeling empty, I tend to find myself checking my emails, FB page, Instagram…you name it. And often I don’t remember even consciously choosing to do so. Instead, I am going to sit and savor the stillness. Feel my feelings. Own my truths. And in doing so, know that I am loved, I am seen, I matter and I am safe.

 

I am going to practice real resting. No more fake resting for this girl. The tidying can wait. The social media can wait. My connection to all that matters, to my own heart and the people I love, is and always will be, my priority.

 

What will you lessen so that you can allow yourself to truly feel?


 


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