What Matters Mondays – September 19, 2016

September 20th, 2016 by admin Leave a Comment

Parenting…no one gives you a manual. For many of us, we parent the way we were parented or maybe the opposite of how we were parented depending on our experiences. We do what we think is right, we make mistakes, we rock it, we suck at it, we are human. We, as parents, do the best we can with what we know. That I truly believe.

I have made my share of mistakes I can tell you that. I have yelled at my kids when I was frustrated. I have had moments where rather than hear them, I’ve tried to solve their problems for them. I have had times when I’ve been so busy with work that I forgot to pay attention to what they needed. I’ve made mistakes and I will continue to for my entire life because I am not perfect.

But I do know this…my kids are watching me in every moment. And consciously and unconsciously they are learning how to become adults through my example.

Realizing this truth years ago, made me stop in my tracks.

Was I being the adult I wanted my kids to become?

We want our kids to be happy! I think most parents would agree to that statement. But what if the happiness of our kids was influenced by how we, as the parents, are showing up in the world?

My belief is that it is.

We are truly the example of how to live.

By this, I don’t mean our kids need to be just like us. Not at all.

By this I mean…

If you are judging others, your child learns to judge.

If you are not living in alignment with your values, neither will your kids.

If you are continually busy and not taking time for rest and stillness, your child will follow.

If you are stuffing your emotions inside and not processing them so will your child.

If you think vulnerability is weakness so will your child.

If you are using a lot of negative self-talk…so will your kids.

If you have no boundaries neither will your child.

If you talk about people behind their backs, so will your child.

The list goes on….

That may seem really yucky and negative and the truth is…it is!

But the flip side is where it gets really awesome!

If you are being real, your kids will be real

If you are comfortable with your imperfections and flaws, your kids will be too.

If you are making mistakes and owning them, so will your kids.

If you are talking about your struggles, your kids will too.

If you are living your values, your kids will too.

If you are keeping other people’s stories in the vault and only sharing what stories are yours to share…your kids will do the same.

If you are replacing negative self-talk with self-compassion…your kids will learn that.

If you are making time for you in your days…your child will learn the importance of that.

The list goes on…

I think the key to being the example is simply stopping in each moment and asking yourself, “Is this the lesson I want my child to learn? Is this how I want to show up?”

 

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